Martin Blackwood (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
secreteary) wrote2020-10-09 11:54 am
secreteary) wrote2020-10-09 11:54 am
sad lonely boy
headcanons about Martin's miserable life because I'm terrible and find it amusing
- has tried to cure loneliness with pets several times, all ended in failure. he specifically chose animals he could cuddle at first, and eventually as the failures wore on, he got more and more desperate for ANYTHING that would agree to be his companion. so dogs and cats became birds, became small rodents, then lizards and turtles, then snakes, until he finally gave up. all potential animal friends were too skittish and anxious and no bonding occurred, until he either heartbrokenly gave up and returned them, or they somehow got out and were never seen again.
- once, an almost-pet was seen again. in the arms of one of his neighbors. seemingly much happier.
- there's a distressing trend in the flats that Martin has had of a lack of natural light, or even access to it. either there were too few windows, windows too filthy, windows in unusual places, windows of unusual and too small a size, windows obscured by external force (another building, a bush, the trunk of a tree, etc), which is bad for mental and physical health and only adds to feelings of isolation.
- mainly plays single-player RPGs with little deviation. would have been more heavily into WOW in secondary school if his mother didn't lock down the computer once she saw him using it "too much" and screamed at him about the internet bill. tried again as an adult; felt too awkward to approach guilds for friendship and company so gave up. loves RPGs with structure but also freedom. would love more open-ended RPGs like Skyrim except the loooooooong periods of silence and lack of in-game dialogue and companionship really unsettles him and makes him lonely again. adores Bioware games, and any other RPGs with romance options. bought Dragon Age Origins on PC after playing it on PS3 just so he could download the mod to romance Alistair with a male player character. romancing Alistair with his male PC made him cry at a couple of the key points.
- gay, with a sporadic list of failed attempts at dating, relationships, or sexual encounters. even tried to date a girl who approached him, thinking that maybe his preference wouldn't matter if they got along well and he really liked her. buuuut she was just using him, having a bet with her friends to see how long it would take to get him to sleep with her. ........which also ended in utter failure. "nope, too gay"
kept lowering his standards until he attempted a one night stand with one Tobias Fisher, a co-worker at the Institute. it went spectacularly badly.
- he’s too huge for anything smaller than a Queen (and even that’s getting snug) so a big bed to himself is just another daily reminder of how alone he is in the world. :D he tries to fill up or at least cordon off the empty space with the many pillows he needs to sleep comfortably (big dude = back problems), but it always lurks in the periphery of his mind.
- painful optimism: Martin has a pull-out sofa, keeps a NICE air mattress for it with its own set of nice sheets, extra controllers for his consoles, plenty of fun multiplayer games, spare toiletries, etc...all in the hopes that one day, he'll have a friend over. maybe even the friend will stay over!
these items collect dust.
- has tried to cure loneliness with pets several times, all ended in failure. he specifically chose animals he could cuddle at first, and eventually as the failures wore on, he got more and more desperate for ANYTHING that would agree to be his companion. so dogs and cats became birds, became small rodents, then lizards and turtles, then snakes, until he finally gave up. all potential animal friends were too skittish and anxious and no bonding occurred, until he either heartbrokenly gave up and returned them, or they somehow got out and were never seen again.
- once, an almost-pet was seen again. in the arms of one of his neighbors. seemingly much happier.
- there's a distressing trend in the flats that Martin has had of a lack of natural light, or even access to it. either there were too few windows, windows too filthy, windows in unusual places, windows of unusual and too small a size, windows obscured by external force (another building, a bush, the trunk of a tree, etc), which is bad for mental and physical health and only adds to feelings of isolation.
- mainly plays single-player RPGs with little deviation. would have been more heavily into WOW in secondary school if his mother didn't lock down the computer once she saw him using it "too much" and screamed at him about the internet bill. tried again as an adult; felt too awkward to approach guilds for friendship and company so gave up. loves RPGs with structure but also freedom. would love more open-ended RPGs like Skyrim except the loooooooong periods of silence and lack of in-game dialogue and companionship really unsettles him and makes him lonely again. adores Bioware games, and any other RPGs with romance options. bought Dragon Age Origins on PC after playing it on PS3 just so he could download the mod to romance Alistair with a male player character. romancing Alistair with his male PC made him cry at a couple of the key points.
- gay, with a sporadic list of failed attempts at dating, relationships, or sexual encounters. even tried to date a girl who approached him, thinking that maybe his preference wouldn't matter if they got along well and he really liked her. buuuut she was just using him, having a bet with her friends to see how long it would take to get him to sleep with her. ........which also ended in utter failure. "nope, too gay"
kept lowering his standards until he attempted a one night stand with one Tobias Fisher, a co-worker at the Institute. it went spectacularly badly.
- he’s too huge for anything smaller than a Queen (and even that’s getting snug) so a big bed to himself is just another daily reminder of how alone he is in the world. :D he tries to fill up or at least cordon off the empty space with the many pillows he needs to sleep comfortably (big dude = back problems), but it always lurks in the periphery of his mind.
- painful optimism: Martin has a pull-out sofa, keeps a NICE air mattress for it with its own set of nice sheets, extra controllers for his consoles, plenty of fun multiplayer games, spare toiletries, etc...all in the hopes that one day, he'll have a friend over. maybe even the friend will stay over!
these items collect dust.